Who Shot Simon Cowell? Episode One: The Big Questions…
You know how it is. One minute you’re innocently lighting birthday candles with your gun-shaped lighter, and the next a wounded Simon Cowell is dramatically falling down the stairs and everyone thinks YOU pulled the trigger. That’s a tough day all round.
It looks as though somebody has switched Ant’s lighter for the loaded weapon, but who? And how?
Who knows? There might come a day when we’ll all turn around and think, “You know what, Sinitta was really onto something when she fashioned those palm leaves into an outfit.” But until then, we can only look on in confusion. Someone get that girl a jumper! Or a large pashmina at the very least.
And can we find a way to put a stop to this immediately?
Could Louis Walsh be hungry for revenge? Did David Walliams dislike the vol au vents THAT much? Episode two, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do…